Number 18. Eighteen applications since April. Eighteen nos. One more closer to a "yes." "Torment" is the word I would describe filling out applications. "Euphoric relief" is how I would describe finishing one. The roller coaster of emotions is not for the weak. I can barely get through it. This is why people kill themselves-"looking for a job is a full time job." "How to Stay Positive During the Job Hunt" The headline draws me in. The article is written by "Lindsay," a special piece for US NEws and World Report. She already has a job. Her picture is seductive-chin down, eyes "making love" to the camera, no smile. Why the seductive picture for such a dry piece? What was she thinking when this picture was taken? "I'm hot?"" Look how great my hair looks?" "This is my best side?" Positive thinking the article suggests. #1: Take responsibility. How often do you let others control your happiness? Happiness, bitterness, and frustration are all choices. How you decide to react to any situation in a job search is up to you." Is it though? We are hard wired to react certain ways. The effort it takes to change my thinking is harder than answering 50 application questions. I'm already struggling to fill out this application, now you want me to change my brain

Lindsay suggests I "focus on the long-term benefits of the job search.' "You meet new people in every interview and networking event you attend." Great, Lindsay, you assume I'm getting an interview. 

"You learn from every experience." Dave and Ellen told me this. I agree. That's all I have for now.